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Monday, June 2, 2008

Loving one's wife

Originally Posted by Yung Lion
Been thinking
about this verse for a couple weeks... What does it mean to for husbands to
"live peacably with his wife and to honour her as the weaker veseel!"? I've been
reading it and thinkin about it... What do you guys get? Ladies don't be afraid
to respond also! I purposely put it in a open forum! Thanks in advance

Saint John Chrysostom was the Patriarch of Constantinople.....I think....I could be wrong about that. It's been a while sense I looked at his bio, but he lived from the mid 3 hundreds to about the early 4 hundreds. He was killed because he kepted preaching against the she had him executed(killed).

But I thought his thoughts on this topic would be helpfull.

As taken from the book: "On living Simply" The Golden voice of John Chrysostom: A book of Ancient Christian Wisdom

on page 5 Saint Chrysostom says:

"In a Family the husband needs the wife to
prepare his food; to make, mend, and wash his clothes; to fetch water; and to
keep the rooms and furniture in the house clean. The wife needs the husband to
till the soil, to build and repair the house, and to earn money to buy the goods
they need. God has put into a man's heart the capacity to love his wife, and
into a woman's heart the capacity to love her husband. but their mutual
dependence makes them love each other out of necessity also. At times love
within the heart may not be sufficient to maintain the bond of marriage. But
love which comes from material necessity will give that bond the strength it
needs to endure times of difficulty.
The same is true for society as a whole.
God has put into every person's heart the capacity to love his neighbors. But
that love is immeasurably strengthened by their dependence on one another's

and on page 70 he says:

"Some say that marriage was ordained by God as a
blessing to the human race. Others say that marriage is a necessary evil for
those who cannot restrain their sexual appetites. In truth it is impossible to
speak in such ways about marriage in general; we can only make judgments about
particular marriages. There are some marriages which brings great blessings to
the husband and the wife, to their children, and to all their neighbors. But
there are others marriages which seem to bring few blessings to anyone. The
difference between these two types of marriage lies in the spirit with which the
bond was forged and is maintained. If a man and a woman marry to satisfy their
sexual appetites, or to further the material aims of themselves or their
families, then the union is unlikely to bring blessings. But if a man and a
woman marry in order to be companions on the journy through earth to heaven,
then their union will bring great joy to themselves and to others.
Some people
need a close companion, and for these people God has ordained marriages. Some do
not need a close companion, and for these people God has ordained


On page 72 he says:

"When we speak of the wife obeying the husband,
we normally think of obedience in military or political terms: the husband
giving orders, and the wife obeying them. But while this type of obedience may
be appropriate in the army, it is ridiculous in the intimate relationship of
marriage. The obedient wife does not wait for orders. Rather, she tries to
discern her husband's needs and feelings, and responds in love. When she sees
her husband is weary, she encourages him to rest; when she sees him agitated,
she soothes him; when he is ill, she nurses and comforts him; when he is happy
and elated, she shares his joy. Yet such obedience should not be confined to the
wife; the husband should be obedient in the same way. When she is weary, he
should relieve her of her work; when she is sad, he should cherish her, holding
her gently in his arms; when she is filled with good cheer, he should also share
her good cheer.
Thus a good marriage is not a matter of one partner obeying the
order, but of both partners obeying each other."


on page 73 he says:

"A good marriage is like a spiritual castle. When
husband and wife truly love and respect each other, no one can overcome them. If
a man is unmarried and is attacked with lies and slander, his confidence and
self-esteem may crumble; he may even begin to believe the lies said against him.
but if he had a loving wife, she would reassure him with the truth, and so
uphold his spirit. If a woman is single and is the subject of vicious gossip,
she may feel that her reputation is being cut to shreds. But if she had a loving
husband, his faith in her goodness and honesty would both comfort her and also
impress those who doubted her. Similarly, a good marriage is like a buttress
when a person's religious faith is shaken. Single people who are beset by
religious doubts may feel that the house of God is collapsing around them, and
that they are helpless to prevent it. But married people can turn to their
spouse to express those doubts; and it is almost certain that the spouse's faith
is sufficiently solid to allay those doubts.
In the providence of God, when a
husband is spiritually weak, his wife is spiritually strong; when a wife is
weak, the husband is strong."


On page 74 he says:

"Those who treat their servants harshly,
instilling fear into them with angry words and threats, may succeed in
compelling their servants to work hard; but servants feel no attachments to such
masters, and at the first opportunity run away. How much worse it is for a
husband to use angry words and threats to his wife. Yet many men frequently try
to intimidate their wives. They lift their voices and shout; they demand instant
compliance to their every whim; they even raise their arms to force their wives
to submit. Wives treated in this fashion become no more than sullen servants,
acting as their husbands require out of cold fear. Is this the kind of union you
want? Does it really satisfy you to have a wife who is pertrified of you? Of
course not. Indulging your ill temper at the expense of your wife may give some
immediate relief to your emotions; but it brings no lasting joy or pleasure. Yet
if you treat your wife as a free woman, respecting her ideas and intuitions, and
responding with warmth to her feelings and emotions, then your marriage shall be
a limitless source of blessing to you


[1],[2],[3],[4],[5] taken from the book: "On living Simply" The Golden voice of John Chrysostom: A book of Ancient Christian Wisdom

Compiled by Robert Van de Weyer published by Liguiri/Triumph



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